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119th Sussy Congress · Dispatch from the Floor

The Fly Incident entered into the permanent record.

The body has entered into evidence the audiovisual exhibit designated “The Fly Incident,” transmitted to the chamber by Rep. Fatal (Chairman, Select Committee on National Security) and logged by the Office of the Clerk on July 27, 2026. The material, recorded in the jurisdiction of the Roblox Corporation, is reproduced below as transmitted, without enhancement or commentary. The Subcommittee on Emerging Threats has taken the matter under advisement and declines at this time to state whether the fly acted alone.

Exhibit FLY-1 · “The Fly Incident” · Transmitted by Rep. Fatal · Source on Medal

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H.R. 2025–001 In Committee

An Act to Investigate the Anomalous Toilet Water Levels in the Residence of the Honorable Rahul "The Hork" Horky Jr. (Rep. Reawul)

To establish a bipartisan select committee to examine, document, and report upon the events of October 19, 2025, hereinafter referred to as the "Toilet Water Incident"; to appropriate such sums as may be necessary for forensic plumbing analysis; and for other purposes.

Sponsor: Speaker Kosherfish (Chair, Comm. on Oversight)
Cosponsors: Rep. Tigviv
Introduced: Oct. 20, 2025
Referred: Committee on Plumbing, Public Works & Hydrology

H. Res. 119–12 In Committee

A Resolution Condemning the Fraudulent Affectation of Viewership of "Gameoverse" by Rep. Reawul

Whereas Rep. Reawul has adopted the character "Kit Bodega" as his official portrait yet conceded under questioning that he has never viewed the underlying programme; whereas the producers engineered the said character — hereinafter the "Bodega Maneuver" — to compensate for a sub-par show, as evidenced by 1,646 explicitly carnal submissions to a single public registry within 72 hours of premiere (as of 1:38 a.m. EST, May 21, 2026); resolved, that the body condemns the affectation, acknowledges the Representative as the foreseeable target rather than the architect of the said Maneuver, and requests he either watch the programme within thirty (30) days or update his portrait accordingly.

Sponsor: Speaker Kosherfish
Cosponsors: Rep. Fatal
Introduced: Apr. 28, 2026
Referred: Select Committee on National Security; Subcommittee on Emerging Threats

Rep. Kosherfish

Speaker of the House

Chair, Committee on Oversight & Reform

Presides over the chamber. Custodian of the gavel and the photographic exhibit archive. Sole signatory on the Bipartisan Toilet Water Disclosure Memorandum.

Rep. CBB

Majority Whip

Vice Chair, Committee on Ways & Means

Engineering professional. Originating author of the procedural designations "chuds" and "go into stump." Best score of record: 529,896.

Rep. Fatal

Chairman, Select Committee on National Security

Ranking Member, Committee on the Judiciary

Holds the only known key to the Sussy Vault. The only member of the 119th Congress documented to maintain communications with women not affiliated with the body.

Rep. Gjox

Chair, Committee on Appropriations

Member, Subcommittee on Emergency Funding

Holds the purse. Complainant of record in a long-standing matter before the Committee on Foreign Affairs concerning the unreciprocated greeting of 2022.

Rep. Simon

Chairman, Committee on Foreign Affairs

Member, Subcommittee on Diplomatic Postings

Has not delivered floor remarks, voted by recorded division, or signed correspondence during the 119th Congress. Maintains perfect attendance with respect to the periodic transmission of audiovisual materials.

Rep. Reawul

Member of Congress · Legal name: Rahul "The Hork" Horky Jr.

Member, Committee on Plumbing, Public Works & Hydrology

Complainant of record in the Toilet Water Incident of October 19, 2025. Has formally affirmed before the body that he responds to Rep. Fatal and Rep. Fatal only.

Rep. Tigviv

Chair, Committee on Science, Space & Technology

Member, Subcommittee on Emerging Threats

Also known to the body as "justtigviv," "tigviv.vr," and "tony kenneth stark trayhan." Named subject of Exhibits TIG-A through TIG-Q, filed by a former member since expelled.

Rep. Avey

Chair, Committee on Education & the Workforce

Member, Subcommittee on Digital Infrastructure

Body's recognized authority on the Mojang Studios software title "Minecraft." Principal author of H.R. 2026–051 declaring the netherite ingot the official mineral specimen of the 119th Sussy Congress. Recorded under the internal classification "Bottom."

Rep. Sk8

Chair, Committee on Arts & Audio Production

Member, Subcommittee on Cultural Heritage

The body's artist of record and sole member credentialed in the visual arts. Holds standing leave to enter original works into the Congressional Record without prior referral to committee.

Rep. Mikebite

Member of Congress

Member, Committee on Foreign Affairs

Sole member of Irish extraction and the designated recipient of the chamber's collective attentions, a status reaffirmed at the opening of each session without objection. A motion directed at the Representative requires no second.

Rep. 95toocool (with Gohn Franklin)

Chair, Committee on Standards & Self-Assessment

Member, Subcommittee on Emerging Threats

Author of two standing hazard advisories of record — “a figure in the fog” and “something dying underneath the porch with the dog” — neither since amended nor resolved. Declines all questions under the privileged non-answer “Why would I tell you, eh?”

Rep. Gohn Franklin (with 95toocool)

Chair, Committee on Historical Accuracy

Member, Joint Committee on Cultural Heritage

Served without commission as the principal enforcement authority of a jurisdiction in which he held no office, returning under no fewer than ten assumed identities after his first account was struck. Founder of the Low Taper Squad. Maintains that the first name is spelled correctly.

Rep. Idkian

Member of Congress

Member, Committee on Rules & Administration

The most junior member of the body, seated by unanimous consent and without the customary period of debate. The Office of the Clerk records a file containing the certificate of election, the oath as administered, and no further submissions whatever.

19 October 2025

Constitutional Crisis

The Toilet Water Incident

At approximately 14:47 hours on October 19, 2025, the residence of the Honorable Rahul "The Hork" Horky Jr. (Rep. Reawul) experienced an unattributed and continuous rise in interior toilet water levels. The event, which exceeded all parameters previously contemplated by the Sussy Federal Plumbing Code, prompted the convening of an emergency joint session.

The incident is widely regarded by constitutional scholars as a founding event of the modern Sussy era and is commemorated annually by the suspension of the gavel for a period of seven (7) seconds.

— Office of the Historian, Sussy Congress

Coat of Arms of the Sussy Congress of the United States

Office of Heraldry · Recorded in the Roll of Arms

The Achievement, Blazoned

Escutcheon: Azure, the Mark of Discord Or; on a chief gules five mullets of the second.
Crest: A mural crown Or, signifying the chartered authority of the chamber.
Supporters: Two eagles displayed sable, grasping the scroll.
Motto: E Pluribus Sussum — “Out of many, one sus.”

The Mark of Discord is borne in gold as the central charge, in recognition of the chamber wherein the body convenes. Established MMXXV.

Download the Arms (SVG)

June 13, 2026 Body Adopts Resolution of Expulsion; Member Stricken from the Roll of the 119th Congress
May 04, 2026 Joint Committee Releases Preliminary Findings on Toilet Water Hydrology
Apr. 28, 2026 Office of the Librarian Announces Three New Quotations Approved for Marble
Apr. 22, 2026 Rep. Reawul (Horky Jr.) Declines to Comment; Refers Inquiries to Counsel